The BS Black Market Item of the Day: MSFB Piece of Turf

As many of you know (or SHOULD know,) the Maine South football team scored another state victory this year. As such, many of you have probably already purchased your share of celebratory swag. However, even if you have indulged yourself in buying Hawk caps, Hawk mugs, Hawk shirts, Hawk hoodies, and other such wonderful merchandise, we at the BS have something more valuble and memorable than what you can buy at your rinky-dink local bookstore; here at the BS, we are currently auctioning off an 11 inch PIECE OF TURF! Yes, yes, yes! This is THE same turf that has been given the privilege to serve under the holy cleats of the ONE AND ONLY MAINE SOUTH FOOTBALL TEAM! Prices start at ONLY $100 per inch per centimeter! Here's a look at the merchandise:

Hurry, hurry, hurry! Order yours now and receive a complimentary photo of the elusive Maine South Hawk! Buy your piece of turf today, and someday in the future, you will remember the good old days; you'll remember all those times your face smacked the immaculate turf and rubber bits after getting tackled. If you were a spectator, you will remember those wonderful days when the heroes of Maine South fought valiantly against every form of opposition and emerged victorious! In the future, your children will ask, "Daddy (or Mommy,) why is that piece of grass in a glass case?" Of course, you would respond saying, "Well, son (or daughter,) that is a token of my teenhood and a story that will change your life."
Buy yourself some memories. Buy yourself some true Hawk Pride spirit. Buy a piece of turf today, and it will last a lifetime. Hawk yeah, baby. Hawk yeah.